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改错“
Thebarchartillustratesthatthetrendofcalltypesintheunitedkingdomfor8yearsfrom1995to2002.
Thebarchartcomparesthefiguresintermsofminutesspentontelephonecalls,splittedintothreetypes.
Thebarchartgivesinformationabouttelephonecalls.ItisinthreetypesLocal,National&InternationalandMobilecallminutesfromyear1995to2002inUK.
Thegraphcomparesthetotalusingtimeof3calltypesintheUKovera7-yearperiodfrom1995.
ThebarchartpresentstheamountofphonecallsinbillionofminutesmakeintheUKoveraperiodofsevenyearsintothecategoriesoflocal,national/internationalandmobilephonecalls.
ANSWERSFROMSIMON:
Themainproblemseemstobethatpeoplearemakingthesentencetoo'difficult'.Ifyoureadmyintroduction(atthebottomofthelesson),it'seasierandclearerthanthestudents'sentences.Justkeepyourintroductionassimpleaspossible!
Herearetheproblems:
1.Themainproblemistheuseoftheword"that".Justwrite"Thebarchartillustratestheamountoftime/thetrend"etc.
2.Themainmistakeistheword"splitted".Thepastandpastparticipleare"split"and"split".
3.Themainproblemisthephrase"ItisinthreetypesLocal..."Idon'tknowwhattheword"it"refersto.
4.Thephrase"thetotalusingtimeof3calltypes"isn'tright.
5.Problemswith"make"and"intothecategories.
Postedby:Simon|HYPERLINK"http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-help-and-english-pr/2016/02/ielts-writing-task-1-mistakes-in-the-introduction.html?cid=6a0120a5bb05d8970c01b7c81796cf970b"\l"comment-6a0120a5bb05d8970c01b7c81796cf970b"Friday,February19,2016at11:27
FROMSIMON(continued):
Herearemysuggestions:
1)ThebarchartillustratestrendsindifferenttypesofphonecallintheUnitedKingdomover8yearsfrom1995to2002.
2)ThebarchartcomparesfiguresforUKphonecallsintermsofminutesspentonthreetypesofcall(between1995and2002).
3)Thebarchartgivesinformationaboutthreetypesoftelephonecall,namelylocal,national/internationalandmobilecalls,intheUKbetween1995and2002.
4)ThechartcomparesthetotalnumberofminutesofthreetypesofphonecallmadeintheUKovera7-yearperiodfrom1995.
5)Thebarchartshowstheamountoftimespentonthreetypesofphonecall,inbillionsofminutes,intheU