作文讲评编辑最新精选.docx

作文讲评

第一篇：作文讲评第六期书面表达讲评佳句欣赏：1.Opinionsarepidedonthisquestions.(祝美娜、张尹泽、谭述、徐媛、佟傲雪)2.AsfarasI’mconcerned,doingvoluntaryworkismeaningfulifwearecapableofit,inwhichcaseitcould……(赵婷君)3.Inmyopinion,onecanalwaysmanagetodomorethings,nomatterhowfullone’sscheduleisinlife.Asateenager,wecanchallengeourselvesbydoingvoluntarywork.4.AsfarasI’mconcerned,wemayaswelldosomevoluntaryworktogainsomeusefulexperiencewhichcannotbelearnedfromclass.(孟兰蕙)5.Moreimportantly,wecanmaketheworldabetterplacetoliveinbyvolunteering.(马晓宇)6.Besides，noonecandenythefactthat…..Sowemayaswellmakefulluseoftimetodowhatweshoulddo.Inopinion,iftimepermits,itisgoodforustodothis.(王秋爽)7.Thosewhoarewillingtoshouldersocialresponsibilityareespeciallyrespectedandwelcomed.Thereisnobettertimethannow.Don’thesitate.Let’sjoininitnow.(高波)找瑕疵：1.Itisbeneficialtobuildupthesenceofresponsibility.2.Theythinkthattheycanhelpothers,forwhomlifewashard,inwhichcaseitcanmadeoursocietypeacefulandmadeourcountrymorestronger.3.Ithinkdovoluntaryworkisanexcellentexperience.4.Althoughtherearesomespareforus,butwehavetodomuchhomework.5.Weshouldpaymoreattentiononourstudy.6.Ihopemorepeopletojoinitandenjoyit.7.Inmyopinion,joininvoluntaryisveryimportant.8.….makethesocietybetterandpeacefully.9.Furthermore,thereasonwhytheyagainstitisthattheyhavetoomuchhomeworktodo.10.Becausewecanlearnsomethingthatgiveusthewisdomoflife.第二篇：作文讲评感恩作文讲评学案教学目标：1能够审清题目要求，按要求写作2理清写作顺序，使自己的作文条理清晰3按中心思想组织素材【原题再现】有些人总以为上苍欠他的，父母的呵护、师长的关爱、朋友的真情似乎是理所当然的。他们视恩情如草芥，背信弃义却毫无愧疚之意，感恩之心早已荡然无存。感恩是为人的基本准则，拥有感恩之心才能不断荡涤灵魂；同时感恩之心又有如玫瑰，需要细心栽培与呵护。请以感恩为话题，写一篇800字的作文。出现问题A语言不规范：感恩不可带宾语，因为它本身是一个短语，应该说成感恩于社会感恩于父母等等B错别字多。脆落（脆弱）即然（既然）弱后（落后）C病句：1虽然是一首老歌，却唱红大江南北。（老歌和唱红有转折关系吗）2每天早上都会有可口的饭菜把我们从梦中叫醒3这分无薪无假的工作就是母亲。4父母把我们含辛茹苦的哺育成人D叙述不到位。引用材料不错，但就是不能贴题，徘徊在门外边。例如:天空正因为有了小鸟（天空给了小鸟广阔的空间）才有了生机，小鸟正因为懂得感恩才会盘旋于蓝天；大地正因为有了植物才有了绿色，大树正因为懂得感恩才会有落叶归根之景（大地给植物以生长的土壤，植物正因为懂得感恩才会抱以绿意葱茏）亮点展示：佳题感恩从小事做起------刘焕星带着感恩上路-路在左，感恩在右我有一颗感恩的心佳句1魏胜男展开一张叫情感的纸，提起一支叫感激的笔2甄春静阳光普照大地，鲜艳的花朵是对他的回报，春风轻抚万物，嫩绿的草是对他的回报3乜凤荣春花为感激雨露的滋润而散发芳香，柳枝为感激春风的抚慰而抽出新芽