雅思大作文4分评析.docx

雅思大作文4分评析

第一篇：雅思大作文4分评析Topic:Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.Towhatextentdoyouagreeofdisagree?sample:Accordingtouniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.Therefore,thisessaywillshowsomereasonsofargumentforandargumentagainst.Firstly,Iwilldiscussabouttworeasonsofargumentfortobeginwithuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbrsofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubjectbecauseitwillbebalanceofideawhilestudying.Ingeneral,thereusuallyaredifferentideasbetweenmanandwoman.Theseleadtonewideasfromdifferentvisionwillhappen.Anotherreasonisitdisplaythathaveequalofsocietynotecceptineachside.Inaddition,nowadays,themostsocietiesbecometoacceptabilityofbothinanyway.Secondly,Iwilldiscussaboutonereasonofargumentsagainstthatissomesubjectsnotsuitableforeachother.forexample,somesubjectsofsportssuchasweightputting.Itisnotsuitableforfemalebecausetherearedifferentofbodybetweenmaleandfemale.Inconclusion,Iagreewithuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleanfemalestudentsineverysubject.Moreover,itdependonwhatthesubjectsthatthestudentswanttostudy,theycanchoosebythemselvesbecauseIbelievethatifthestudentsliketostudytheirsubjects,theywilldoitwellsothatIstronglyagreewiththistopic.4分的原因：首先，该同学在语法上的缺陷是致命的，多数句子都不符合英语句子结构的要求，如：Theseleadtonewideasfromdifferentvisionwillhappen.Leadto已经是谓语动词了，后面再出现willhappen就是错误的，要知道后一个动词需要采取去动词性质处理：Thiswillleadtonewideasfromdifferentperspectiveshappening其实这句话也很罗嗦，完全可以改成：Thiswillleadtoawidervarietyofideas.另外一句：Anotherreasonisitdisplaythathaveequalofsocietynotecceptineachside.更是无法理解了，is,display,have及accept统统是动词形态在句子中出现，但又没有从句将这些动词分开，最终连成功解密过无数学生天书的我也不能理解他究竟想讲什么了。非常不幸的是在中国庞大的考鸭军团中，有1/2以上的考鸭们写出来的英语句子与这位考生写的同样晦涩难懂。如果你的英语句子也存在这样的基本语法错误的话，我的建议是赶紧花上3-4天的时间解决这个问题，然后再moveon到雅思写作上。写作建议NO.1：WriteinanEnglishway,andmakeyourexaminersmileJ按照英文的语法句式写英文句子。其次，这篇文章的论证逻辑混乱：第二段他想表达的是招同样数量的男女生的好处，第三段要写专业的不同会导致招收同样数量的男女生是不现实的，最后收尾段写道：最终我同意应该招收同样数量的男女生。从上面的两段看下来，最后一段要写的应该是partiallyagreewiththetopic才对—如果专业有较强的性别取向性，那么该topic不成立;如果专业对于两性来