2013高考英语阅读素材及翻译（98篇）2013高三英语阅读素材 what is real love.doc

whatisreallove
RealLove:TheLoveWe’veAllBeenLookingFor—UnconditionalLoveWe'veheardsongsaboutit,seenitinthemovies,heardittalkedaboutonOprahbyrelationshipexperts,andreadaboutitinthousandsofselfhelpbooks.But,whatisunconditionallove?Weallwanttofeelloved.Wethinkaboutit,hopeforit,fantasizeaboutit,gotogreatlengthstoachieveit,andfeelthatourlivesareincompletewithoutit.Thelackofunconditionalloveisthecauseofmostofourangerandconfusion.Itisnoexaggerationtosaythatouremotionalneedforunconditionalloveisjustasgreatasourphysicalneedforairandfood.Itisespeciallyunfortunate,then,thatmostofushavenoideawhatunconditionallovereallyis,andweproveourignorancewithourhorrifyingdivorcerate,theincidenceofalcoholanddrugaddictioninourcountry,theviolenceinourschools,andouroverflowingjails.Ourmisconceptionsofunconditionallovebeganinearlychildhood,wherewesawthatwhenwedidalltherightthings—whenwewereclean,quiet,obedientandotherwise“good”—people“loved”us.Theysmiledatusandspokeingentletones.Butwealsosawthatwhenwewere“bad,”allthosesignsof“love”instantlyvanished.Inshort,weweretaughtbyconsistentexperiencethatlovewasconditional,thatwehadtobuy“love”fromthepeoplearounduswithourwordsandbehavior.Sowhat’swrongwithconditionallove?Weseeiteverywherewelook,sowhatcouldbewrongwithit?Imaginethateverytimeyoupaymefiftydollars,ItellyouIloveyou.Wecoulddothatallday,butattheendofthedaywouldyoufeelloved?No,becauseyou’dknowthatI“loved”youonlybecauseyoupaidme.Wesimplycan’tfeelfulfilledbylovewepayfor.Wecanfeellovedonlywhenitisfreely,unconditionallygiventous.Theinstantwedoanythingatalltowintheapprovalorrespectofotherpeople—withwhatwesay,whatwedo,howwelook—wearepayingfortheattentionandaffectionwereceive,andwecan’tfeelgenuinelyloved.ANewDefinitionofLove:RealLoveThere’sonlyonekindoflovethatcanfillusup,makeuswhole,andgiveusthehappinessweallwant:unconditionalloveortruelove.Itisunconditionallovethatweallseek,andsomehowweintuitivelyrealizethatanythingotherthanthatkindofloveisn’treallyloveatall—it’sanimitationoftherealthing.Unconditionallove