英语笑话.docx

英语笑话

第一篇：英语笑话Twohuntersareoutinthewoodswhenoneofthemcollapses.Hedoesn'tseemtobebreathingandhiseyesareglazed.Theotherguywhipsouthisphoneandcallstheemergencyservices.Hegasps,“Myfriendisdead!WhatcanIdo?”.Theoperatorsays“Calmdown.Icanhelp.First,let'smakesurehe'sdead.”Thereisasilence,thenashotisheard.Backonthephone,theguysays“OK,nowwhat?”简单翻译:两个猎人在森林里打猎,突然甲倒下了.并且看上去不再呼吸了,眼睛也变得呆滞.乙赶紧拿起电话打给救护中心,上气不接下气的说:“我的朋友死了,怎么办?.”服务人员说:“淡定,我有办法.首先,我们嘚确保他是死了.”安静了一会儿,电话里响起了一阵枪声,电话那头乙说道:“好了,那接下来怎么办.”下面是被评选世界第二搞笑的笑话：SherlockHolmesandDrWatsonweregoingcamping.Theypitchedtheirtentunderthestarsandwenttosleep.SometimeinthemiddleofthenightHolmeswokeWatsonupandsaid:“Watson,lookupatthestars,andtellmewhatyousee.”Watsonreplied:“Iseemillionsandmillionsofstars.”Holmessaid:“andwhatdoyoudeducefromthat?”Watsonreplied:“Well,iftherearemillionsofstars,andifevenafewofthosehaveplanets,it’squitelikelytherearesomeplanetslikeearthoutthere.Andifthereareafewplanetslikeearthoutthere,theremightalsobelife.”AndHolmessaid:“Watson,youidiot,itmeansthatsomebodystoleourtent.”简单翻译:甲乙一起去野营.他俩在星光下搭好帐篷然后睡去.半夜的某时,甲叫醒乙:“抬头看看那些星星,然后告诉我你发现了什么?”乙:“我看见好多好多的星星.”甲:“如此你能推断出什么结论?”乙回答道:“嗯...假如天上有无数的恒星,而且其中一些有自己的行星,那么很有可能就会有像地球一样的星球存在.假如有像地球一样的星球存在,那里还可能存在生物.”甲无语:“你个SB.这说明有人偷了我们的帐篷.”第二篇：英语笑话英语笑话笑话一：Awomangetsonabuswithherbaby.Thebusdriversays:“That'stheugliestbabythatI'veeverseen.Ugh!”Thewomangoestotherearofthebusandsitsdown,fuming.Shesaystoamannexttoher:“Thedriverjustinsultedme!”Themansays:“Yougorightupthereandtellhimoff–goahead,I'llholdyourmonkeyforyou.”(某女士带着宝宝坐公交车。司机说：“这是我见过最丑的宝宝。噢!”该女走到车厢后部坐下来，正恼怒得七窍生烟。她对邻座的男子说：“那司机刚才辱骂我!”男子说：“你过去让他滚——去吧，我会帮你把这猴子看好的。”)笑话二：SherlockHolmesandDrWatsonweregoingcamping.Theypitchedtheirtentunderthestarsandwenttosleep.SometimeinthemiddleofthenightHolmeswokeWatsonupandsaid:“Watson,lookupatthesky,andtellmewhatyousee.”Watsonreplied:“Iseemillionsandmillionsofstars.”Holmessaid:“Andwhatdoyoudeducefromthat?”Watsonreplied:“Well,iftherearemillionsofstars,andifevenafewofthosehaveplanets,it’squitelikelytherearesomepla