英语小笑话!~.docx

英语小笑话!~

第一篇：英语小笑话!~搞笑英语短文GoodBoyLittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents.“WhatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?”“Igaveittoapooroldwoman,”heanswered.“You'reagoodboy,”saidthemotherproudly.“Herearetwocentsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?”“Sheistheonewhosellsthecandy.”好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”I'veJustBittenMyTongue“Arewepoisonous?”theyoungsnakeaskedhismother.“Yes,dear,”sherepliedflunkedallcourses.Kickedoutofschool.PreparePop.“Twodayslaterhereceivedaresponse:”Popprepared.Prepareyourself."自己做好准备校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈－我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”第二篇：英语小笑话1）不差钱Lookingveryunhappy,apoormanenteredadoctor'sconsulting-room.一个愁容满面的穷人走进大夫的诊室。“Doctor,”hesaid,“youmusthelpme.Iswallowedapennyaboutamonthago.”“大夫！”他说，“你一定要帮帮我！一个月前我吞了一分硬币！”“Goodheavens,man!”saidthedoctor.“Whyhaveyouwaitedsolong?Whydon'tyoucometomeonthedayyouswallowedit?”“天哪，你这个人啊”大夫说，“早干嘛去了？你当时怎么不来看？”“Totellyouthetruth,Doctor,”thepoormanreplied,“Ididn'tneedthemoneysobadlythen.”“实话告诉您吧，大夫，”穷人说，“我当时还不缺钱！”英语小笑话（2）迟到了！Teacher:Whyareyoulateforschooleverymorning?Tom:EverytimeIcometothecorner,asignsays,“School-Goslow”.老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着“学校----慢行”.英语小笑话（3）你会说什么HowmuchEnglishcanyouspeak?“YourHonor,Iwanttobringtoyourattentionhowunfairitisformyclienttobeaccusedoftheft.HearrivedinNewYorkCityaweekagoandbarelyknewhiswayaround.What'smore,heonlyspeaksafewwordsofEnglish.”Thejudgelookedatthedefendantandasked,“HowmuchEnglishcanyouspeak?”Thedefendantlookedupandsaid,“Givemeyourwallet!”“法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。”法官看了看被告，问道：“你会说多少英文？”被告抬起头，说：“把你的钱包给我！”英语小笑话（4）可怜的丈夫Thepoorhusband“Youcan'timaginehowdifficultitisformetodealwithmywife,”themancomplainedtohisfriend.“Sheasksmeaquestion,thenanswersitherself,andafterthatsheexplainedtomeforhalfanhourwhymyansweriswrong.中文翻译：可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”英语小笑话（5）我没有睡着IWasn'tA