六人英语搞笑剧本 孔雀东南飞.docx

六人英语搞笑剧本孔雀东南飞

第一篇：六人英语搞笑剧本孔雀东南飞六人英语搞笑剧本孔雀东南飞Wanderseveryfivemiles焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)(Johnny（焦仲卿）作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)Johnny（焦仲卿）:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemywifeisWuSong.(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!(内砸出一脸盆,Johnny（焦仲卿）接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetenderthanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中Johnny（焦仲卿）)MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)Act1(序幕结束时,作窃听状)焦母（JM）(拄拐棍上):Ican!(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?刘兰芝Lunch(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?焦母（JM）:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law”.刘兰芝Lunch:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?焦母（JM）:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,solazy……刘兰芝Lunch:But……焦母（JM）:Neverinterruptme!刘兰芝Lunch:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardalldaylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchickenand……焦母（JM）:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!刘兰芝Lunch(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyourson.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在焦母（JM）的脸上,下)Act2(焦母（JM）坐在台上打毛线刘兰芝Luch拿着锅铲上)刘兰芝(Luch):Mum,I’mback!焦母（JM）:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?刘兰芝(Luch):Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.焦母（JM）(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!Ihavealreadytoldyou!WhenyouinsistedonmarryingthatterribleJohnny,Itoldyouthatheisuglystupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlistentome.Lookatyourself……刘兰芝(Luch):But,mum……焦母（JM）:Neverinterruptme!刘兰芝(Luch):Mum,I’mnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?AndI’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.刘母Lunch’smother(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,Imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:“IfyourdaughterHaven’tbeenmarried,Ireallyreallywantto